If you’ve taken an introduction on conscious comm or NVC (nonviolent comm), you probably know all the reasons to steer clear of advice, reassurance, interrogating, etc. – the list of “empathy nots”
But what if someone WANTS advice, for example? How do you know whether to stick with recaps and Feelings/Needs guesses and when to just answer their question?
There are three things to pay attention to.
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NVC/Nonviolent Communication
Feel Rebuffed When They Say NO?
Do you cringe at hearing NO, sometimes even at work? There are, of course, instances in which hearing NO is fine, is matter-of-fact. But if you ever do feel rebuffed, rejected, or embarrassed, I’m going to show you what you can listen for behind someone’s “negative” message.
Empathy NOTS: Conversation Choices that (Can) Disconnect
In this week’s video, we go over the handout below on “Empathy Nots” and why they can be disconnecting when used too often or too early in conversations.
Take a peek and watch the snippet available in the Conscious Comm FB Group.
What to do instead? Remember the key listening skills: warm resonance, occasional recaps, guess feelings/needs (either silently or aloud).