It’s always felt crucial for me to advocate for my salary throughout my career while accepting roles in new organizations. In every job that I’ve been offered, I’ve tried to push for a higher salary knowing that women make 72 cents on the dollar to their male counterparts, generally take care of our kids and our elderly, and live longer lives. Women’s inequality, and our huge lack of resources throughout our lives, has always been a concern of mine. So salary negotiation is something I hold as part of my activism.
When I first applied to the Arts Council, a local non-profit, the listed salary was low, unfeasibly low. On the other hand, I was excited about the position I’d been offered and I wondered if there was some way to make the position work for me sustainably. They were open to having a conversation about money and, as we talked, we began to re-conceptualize the job to include higher level responsibilities, which would increase the salary.
I could see the Executive Director was stretching to make the offer work for me, financially. She was already going higher than the top of the range that was originally posted – but it still wasn’t enough. This was a huge pay cut compared to all of the positions I’d held for the previous fifteen or so years, low enough that it’d be a challenge to support myself should I accept the job.
When they gave me a number, therefore, I decided to be frank. “I can’t do it for that, I’m sorry. I really need to make more salary-wise. And work fewer hours”.
Mandy, the ED, replied, “Well, we’ve already done what we can on our end. It’s really the best we can offer for this role.”
“Yeah, you’ve already stretched in a number of ways,” I acknowledged.
“Right,” said Mandy. “We just don’t have the budget for more.”
“I’m guessing that as a nonprofit, you have more financial struggles than other organizations. And I recognize that, in the arts, pay is lower than in other kinds of nonprofits because arts are generally not supported in this country.”
“Exactly.” Mandy replied with a nod and a slightly softer voice. “We do our best, but it can be rough.”
“Mmm-hmm. You do what you can do.”
“Exactly,” she repeated. “Actually, our original intention was to hire someone on the low, entry-level end of the range for this job. So, we have already come up for you, in a few ways.”
“Right, so you initially had a different plan in mind in terms of your hiring strategy. I get that… Sounds like you’ve shifted a lot in response to me. Is that kind of what you’re saying?”
“Thank you, yes.” she affirmed.
I paused, and then switched gears, saying, “I really do get that. I also would like to share my values as a woman, if you don’t mind, and how important it is to me that I advocate for myself as a woman. Mind if I say a thing or two about that?”
“Oh, of course!” exclaimed Mandy.
“Yeah, thanks. Given the reality of pay disparities between women and men, I feel it’s important for me to really stick with this conversation about compensation, both in terms of benefits and salary. It just seems like it’s one thing I can really do about this larger social issue.”
I finished my thought and, as I took in what looked like surprise on her part, I inhaled a breath to calm my stomach.
“Sure,” she sputtered. “That’s fair. I mean, I want you to know we are a largely female-run organization here. We’re family-friendly. We go out of our way to give people time off to have babies and we make it easy for our staff to have their kids here. There’s a changing room adjoining the bathroom, for example. Actually, there are a lot of things I’ve been trying to do to make it a family-friendly place.”
As she continued speaking, she referenced some of the statistics about women’s economic inequality that let me know she deeply understood my bigger point. That made me want to keep connecting.
“I’m really getting all the ways you try to support families and the women who work here. You named a number of things you’re paying attention to, including the bigger picture about women and money,” I reflected.
“Yeah! It’s important!” she exclaimed.
“Agreed. Okay, well let’s keep going, then.”
“Right. Well, I’ll review parts of the benefits package.” Mandy continued. “We give two weeks of vacation. We have an excellent health care plan, which we cover completely. We have excellent dental and vision. Those are fabulous. We give a free week of vacation during the holidays, which people love…”
“One second,” I interrupted. “I’d like to ask for three weeks of vacation. Is that on the table?”
She shook her head, saying, “Well, we do give that free week at Christmas… That’s really it.”
“So I’m hearing that a third week of vacation isn’t viable, but that there is kind of a third week built into this holiday time off. Is that right?” I asked.
“That’s right.”
I continued focusing on reflecting her words back to her, asking questions, naming key points important to me. I also named when I could see we were on the same page about some of our wishes. When we took a break from the conversation, I left without a sense of how it’d all turn out, but I felt pretty happy with the energy of collaboration I felt between us.
Mandy ended up coming back with an extra $5,000 over the original offer, and a proposal of a significantly shorter work week. That felt really good. I felt proud that I had pushed, had negotiated, with what seemed like the right amount of pressure. I sensed they were really stretching, as was I. And when I asked that we review it again in six months, I got a yes on that, too.
So I accepted.
Mandy, my new ED, took me aside later saying, “Gosh, I have never advocated for my salary when going for a new role. And, come to think of it, no woman I’ve interviewed has ever negotiated for a higher salary before you. I totally respect that you took a stand, and I see why, as a woman, it’s so important.” Stunned, I tried to take her acknowledgement in, but it was hard for me to hear. It seemed sad to me.
My immediate boss, also in the room, echoed Mandy’s experience. “Me either. I’ve never negotiated in my life, or had another woman negotiate with me. I’m impressed that you did!”
It’s a bit of a mixed bag, from my perspective. I’m glad I said what I said in these initial meetings, and that my bosses were impressed. Being able to express my understanding of Mandy’s concerns supported us in working together around some of my bold salary requests, and that served me well. However, I also think it’s important to say that it’s not a panacea, empathy at work. Our organization continues to be an under-resourced, perhaps dysfunctional one, and my relationship with my ED is incredibly challenging in spite of my regular attempts to connect. Sometimes, truth be told, I wonder if I did the right thing by saying yes to this role.
Nonetheless, I hope more women will follow suit by stepping into their power, especially in these key conversations. Perhaps it’s easier to do so knowing that power doesn’t have to come at the expense of connection. Quite the opposite; connection and empowerment can and do go hand in hand.
Deanna Zachary – www.nvcsantacruz.com
