When it’s all up to you to manage a triggering conversation, here are a few tips to keep in mind – both as you begin and during the course of your chat.
- Name your intention out loud, i.e. “I want to try talking about our discussion from the other day again, but this time I’m going to try hard to really hear your point of view.”
- If you’re feeling nervous, vulnerable, or scared to talk – consider saying so if the power dynamic allows. It minimizes defensiveness instantly.
- Ask the other person if they’re willing take it slow and do some repeating to make it easier for you to listen.
- Keep each thing you say small and digestible. Check in often to make sure they’re with you and a rupture hasn’t happened.
This system encourages the other person to speak everything they have to say, with lots of recaps to let them know you’re with them, before moving into expressing whatever’s on your mind.
(Printable PDF version linked below.)
During a Difficult Conversation – Quick Cheat Sheet
Link to Video: 3 Keys to Shifting Difficult Conversations – Before They Begin
Special thanks to Newt Bailey’s www.communicationdojo.com
