Want to make sure you’re prepared to give conscious, productive feedback – without the defensiveness that tends to throw things off track? Here’s a tool for you.
I know I’m ready to give you feedback when:
_____ I’m physiologically regulated (breathing is normal, HR is < 100 BPM).
_____ I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you (metaphorically).
_____ I can name key observations about your behavior without mixing in my evaluations, opinions, or assumptions.
_____ I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.
_____ I’m in touch with the feelings and needs up for me.
_____ I have a guess about the needs most important to you, and am prepared to discover I’m mistaken.
_____ I’m prepared to translate some of the evaluations, opinions, or assumptions I may hear from you into guesses about what you’re needing.
_____ I’m willing to own my part, however small or large.
_____ I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you.
_____ I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges; I’m able to acknowledge your efforts rather than criticize you for your failings.
_____ I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity.
_____ I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.
Credit: Adapted from Brene Brown’s “Engaged Feedback” Checklist
